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Top Ten Books I Can’t Believe I Read
- Gabriel’s Inferno – This book… This book is the reason why I’m even doing this TTT. If you know me at all you know I love me some romance books, but this one was AWFUL. It was a book club pick for Naughty November and it did not live up to it’s expectations. Nothing even happened until the very end.
- Helter Skelter – This is the only one on the list I actually liked, it’s just not a very me book and it was scary af.
- The Innocent Man – This book killed my love for Grisham. I hated every minute of reading it and can’t believe I managed to finish.
- Allegiant – I LOVED Divergent, Insurgent was good, but I can’t even with Allegiant. The fact that she switched to dual narration, and you couldn’t even tell the difference between the two was awful. I wished better things for this series.
- The Alchemist – I wanted to set this book on fire, but I finished it because it was my first book club book.
- Sweet Valley Confidential – I can’t believe I ruined a childhood favorite by reading this book.
*****Please understand that this is a matter of personal taste, so if there’s a book on my top ten you adore, than feel free to think I’m nuts (because honestly, you wouldn’t be wrong)!*****
- Need by Carrie Jones- this book kept me from pretty covers for awhile. It was very similar to Twilight (it published a few years after the Twilight explosion and long before the backlash had really begun), but this was when I still really liked Twilight and it still didn’t compare well. I just rolled my eyes so much over this book. So much. Also, it was a time in my life that I still made myself finish a book if I started it. Should You Read It? Maybe, if you like the fey, but I’d rather recommend The Iron Fey series by Julie Kagawa. What If You Loved It? Um… then, the cover is still super gorgeous (and might be why I own glitter lipstick).
- Tris & Izzie by Mette Ivie Harrison- oh, this cover, so swoony! Even the author’s name seemed to sing it’s siren’s song to me… but in the end this modern take on the Tristan & Isolde left me feeling cold. It was one of the first books I read for a blog tour had me hate reading the book. The characters are ridiculous, female friendships are terribly and there’s nothing but the cover that I ending up liking. Should You Read It? Honestly, I got nothing. Read it if you must, but I wash my hands of it. What If You Loved It? Well, this got awkward fast…
- Second Star by Alyssa B. Sheinmel – I was really hoping this would be Point Break meets Peter Pan, and in some ways it was. But I never connected with Wendy, who is based on one of my favorite Disney characters, and there’s just a lot of weirdness that I wasn’t down with. Should You Read It? If you’re okay with insta-love (which to be fair, I’m pretty on board with it if the author can make it make sense… which here it doesn’t really, but whatevs), and like bad boys (both Peter and Hook are pretty terrible- thieves, druggies, maybe worse?) and you have a soft spot for Peter Pan and Point Break and nothing I say or do can stop you from reading the book for yourself? Then, yeah, maybe you should read it. What If You Loved It? I myself love some books that I know other people find terrible, sometimes it depends on when we read a book as to it’s effect on us. Or maybe we just like the author, and are more prone to liking their books. I can still hang with you if you love this book.
- Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld- Okay, I don’t hate this book. There are actually things I like about it. But it’s NOT Elizabeth and Darcy. I have a lot less anger towards this book if I just think of it as it’s own romance, rather based on a classic I LOVE. Should You Read It? Sure. It’s not terrible, it won’t lead to end times if you pick it up. There are a lot of worse ways to waste your precious reading time than picking up a Jane Austen inspired book. What If You Loved It? Okay, here’s the thing. I read this for book club, and I made the mistake of reading some in-depth negative reviews on the book before I could finish the story, and once certain things had been pointed out, it was impossible for me to unsee it, and it ruined the book for me. I don’t know if I’d feel as negative towards it if I hadn’t read those reviews. Lots of people in book club liked it, so we can totally still be friends.
- The Siren by Tiffany Reisz- there are 2 books on my list that came from my book club’s Naughty November reading. Unlike the other one, this book definitely has some sexiness to it… but the sadistic nature of some of these sexual encounters really made me uncomfortable. It’s just not my thing. I hated the one character, whom I’ve since found out ends up being a major character in the rest of the series, which made me even more quick to dislike this book. Should You Read It? If you like erotica and bdsm? Sure, because the writing isn’t bad. I just prefer romance and sexual encounters that don’t require medical treatment in the afterglow. What If You Loved It? I’m cool with that, but I’m totally not joining your Erotica Book Club.
- Wild by Cheryl Strayed- Okay, now I know I’ve pissed some of you off. Everyone loved this book! It even inspired Lorelai Gilmore to take the same hike! And it’s not that I totally hate this book. I liked parts of it (everything to do with Strayed’s mom, who genuinely seems like a lovely person it would be hard to have lost). I even like Dear Sugar (Strayed’s advice column). But it turns out, I couldn’t connect with her on a personal level, and there were times I almost stopped listening to the audiobook (the horse chapter? Jesus!), or listened at 3x just to get through it (yes, I read it for book club). Should You Read It? Although it wasn’t for me, there is lots to like here. I liked the hiking details, which surprised me because I am not what one would call outdoorsy. I think a lot of people have been through things like Strayed has, and reading this might help them. And it made for a great book club discussion. What If You Loved It? Then take comfort in the fact that I am in the extreme minority on this matter. It might actually be a true case of It’s Not the Book, It’s Me. I don’t know. Please don’t throw anything at me, though, okay?
- Gabriel’s Inferno by Sylvain Reynard- another past Naughty November book club pick, although this one isn’t the least bit naughty. It’s like 500 pages of boring romance, with maybe a page and a half of actual bow-chicka-wow-wow (and lame bow-chicka-wow-wow at that). While the writing is, arguably, better than 50 Shades of Grey, is was 50 times more boring. And so much show vs. tell. Another Hate Read for me. Should You Read It? I can’t think why you should, but you’re an adult, I guess. At least I hope you’re an adult, because I feel like I’ve sworn a lot in this post and I’m going to be really sad if I’m trash talking some 12 year old’s favorite romance of all time (although, I feel like there’s hotter romance in some of the Babysitter’s Club book). What If You Loved It? *side-eyeing you* Really? Because love is a strong word… maybe if you just liked it? No, love? Really? Huh.
- Every Fifteen Minutes by Lisa Scottoline- so Lisa Scottoline is an author I always assumed I’d like if I read her books, but this was my first introduction… and I ended up 3x-ing this audiobook too (again for book club, but in book club’s defense, I’ve also read some amazing books!). The main character is just SO DUMB. Which is weird, because everyone in the book keeps saying how smart he is, and how jealous they are of him. Ugh. Should You Read It? I personally love thrillers, it’s my go-to genre. And I could recommend a bunch that are better… but it’s an easy read and I can see why Scottoline is a fairly popular author. I guess. What If You Loved It? Again, not my favorite thriller writer. I probably would have really liked Scottoline’s books a few decades ago, but I think that ship sailed for me.
- sWitch by Scott Norton- this was a book I got years ago- either for free or for a little bit of money (it was the early days of my Kindle ownership, but I think I might have bought this based on someone else’s review. That review was full of LIES). I hated this book. Looking at my Amazon review for this book, I hated that characters and found the writing choppy and boring. Of the 8 reviews of the book, mine is the only low rating (and, I’m just going to assume, the only one written by someone other than family or friend to the author). Wow, I know that sounds harsh, but I was mad. Should You Read It? No. What If You Loved It? I’m just going to assume that you AREN’T one of the 7 people who liked it or loved it on Amazon. But if you are? We’ll just have to agree to disagree. And if you’re Scott Norton? Well, to be fair, Scott, I’ve never published a book and you have, so you’ve still got that. Plus, I did buy the book, so you profited too. You’re welcome.
- Sweet Valley Confidential: 10 Years Later by Someone Determined To Wreck My Childhood and Guess What? You Succeeded, You Evil Mean Bad Person!- Back in my early tweens, I read Sweet Valley High books like it was my job (and this despite the fact that I was quite young and it had to be against child labor laws of the 1980s). True, the series did not age well. Every first chapter was the same- describing the girls with their blue green eyes, blonde hair and perfect size six figures (this is how you know it’s the 1980’s, because size 6 would probably make a fashion designer call the Wakefield twins “curvy girls” these days). Jessica was “bad” because she flirted and liked to wear a bikini. Elizabeth was “good” because she preferred to study and wear a sensible one piece. But still, dammit, I loved those books. When Regina Morrow died the first time she tried cocaine? I vowed to never use cocaine… and I never have. So there, SVH probably kept me from being a cokehead. I was so excited when I heard about this book. And I thought I could handle it even if it was awful. And it is SO AWFUL and it turns out, I couldn’t handle it. Should You Read It? You know how sometimes you smell something nasty and instead of warning a friend away from it, instead you offer them a whiff? I kind of feel that way about it. Come share my misery, won’t you? What If You Loved It? Well, I’ll just assume that Regina Morrow’s tragic end didn’t stop you from killing brain cells with cocaine. Lol, just kidding. Mostly I hated it because I hated Todd with a burning passion (Team Jeffrey all the away!), so I can understand if you loved this because you always secretly wanted him with Jessica.